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July 26, 2006


Lest it be thought that I have dropped off the face of this earth (again), let me just say that I'm so freakin' busy I hardly know my name anymore.

I'm not on vacation, I'm working on my internship and by working I mean 10-12 hour days. I LOVE the work (data entry and clean up) but it's a lot to expect my kids to put up with. I'm tired and cranky most of the time. I don't have the energy or time to do dishes ot grocery shop. I've got a pile of laundry 3 miles high. Did I mention I'm tired?

I'm also contemplating a lot lately. It's about time for me to grow roots and I don't want them to be here. Can I afford to buy? If I buy, will it be in Greenville (do I have a choice?)? How can I get out of this cycle of paying rent and having nothing to show for it?

My son starts high school next month. That means it's 5 years until both kids graduate high school. That means it's time for me to plan what will happen when they do. I've about got my license in IT but what can I do with it? I've got to keep moving forward but my heart ... my heart isn't in it. Maybe I just need a vacation.

Need to buy some big ticket things and this will directly eeffect whether or not I can even look at buying a house. A new mattress is tops on my list ... but I always figured I would buy one when I moved.

Ugh, I'm not moving. I can't afford to. I don't have the money to do any of the things I need to so I just give up. Looks like I'm stuck in this job, in this house, in this loop of futile drudgery ... unless something amazing happens.

Wow, look at that ... just by thinking, I have given myself fewer things to think about. I've gone from being a cautious optimist to a kind of resigned defeatist.

About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Prosemonkey published on July 26, 2006 11:06 PM.

Running toward the light... was the previous entry in this blog.

Resignation... is the next entry in this blog.

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