Running toward the light...

Tonight, my final assignment is due, a short paper comparing national vs. local evaluation tools (and the standards therein) used for Technology Facilitators. After this, all I have to do is upload my Program Manual and I'm d.o.n.e. Like "stick a fork in me" done. And I'm so ready.

When I started this journey to my licensure last January, I had no idea how grueling it would be to try to work full time and go to grad school full time and be 2 parents full time and try to have a life ... that's too much to squeeze into days that are too short. But for the past year and a half I've done it. No regrets. Not many anyway. I only wish I had been able to squeeze in more of a life. As it is, I really only feel as if I'm enjoying mySELF a) when Tim is in town or b) when I am visiting him. Yes, we stay connected via the computer whenever I am not here at work but ... it can't compare.

I don't know. He may be perfectly happy with this arrangement but, for me, I enjoy our companionship tooo much when we are together to be able to enjoy much when we are apart. Even simple things that were once a chore for me, like going to the mall or going to the movies - with him, it's something to look forward to. The thought of going to the movies (or anywhere) by myself is miserable. I wanted to go see Over the Hedge but I couldn't bring myself to go alone (and by alone, I meant with the kids). Yes, the kids and I went to movies together before he came along but I forgot what it was like to go with someone that sees the same things I do, someone with whom the experience is an enjoyable event, not an overwhelming headache. I'm outnumbered without him. He's on my side. I like that.

What on earth brought this on? Dunno. It's been a month and a half since he came down and so much has happened ... I've gotten sick twice, school ended, I've finished a whole class, I've done all my district and state reports at work, I've finished Tech Ventures and begun teaching summer academy ... and when I climb into bed at night, I turn and have no one to remind me that tomorrow will be better. It's been so long, the t-shirt doesn't even smell like him anymore.

Eh ... just complaining, I guess. I'll see him this weekend (w00t! IRL at Richmond! I've been waiting a year for this Saturday!!! I can't believe I get to share this with him and his Dad) and next week, he comes down for a good visit over the 4th. Just what I need to start my summer vacation off right. Before I start my internship, that is.

Ok, so I'm not really done. But I'm close.