Refraction

Lest you assume by the tenor of that last post that I've softened and become someone that might actually resemble a normal person, I'm here to tell you to re-frackin'-lax.

There are some days (weeks) when a mood comes over me, when the simplest thing will set me off, when I can actually feel myself physically shutting down and all I can do is watch myself succumb. It's very nearly out-of-body and pretty creepy to watch myself in such a detached way.

Now, since Saturday, I've been recovering from a severe MSG reaction, feeling like my heart is going to burst out of my chest, hoping my head wouldn't explode. It's left me exhausted and rather numb, unable to do much more than sit back watching the irregular undulation of my moods and, frankly, feeling slightly seasick. Seems I've lost sight of the horizon.

And then I'm left hanging and it goes from bad to worse. Last thing I needed on the eve of my obsolescence.