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February 1, 2006

To be continued...

I've noticed that I have the habit of glancing off of touchy topics with the tag line more about that later ... but I hardly ever get around to the more and it keeps getting later and later.

This is, of course, not just something I do here, in my writing, though why I do it here, where I exist in relative safety and anonymity, is something to look at. This really is the story of my life. When things get too close to the crux, to the truth, I pull back, glance off, shy away with the promise that I'll take care of it later.

Sometimes so much time passes that I figure that the point is moot, that no one will remember what the big deal was in the first place and really, after a while, it really doesn't seem like a big deal anymore. I've worked very hard to be one of those people that doesn't look back, that just moves forward, each day a clean slate. It's foreign to my nature, though. I'm convinced that by examining and resolving my past mistakes, I can make sure I don't repeat them in the future. I'm guilty of overthinking many situations, though, of taking a seemingly inconsequential moment in time and making it a great sinkhole of guilt that I feel I have to crawl my way out of.

The good thing about this is that I know this about myself and I if can see myself beginning to reflog a long dead horse, I will usually pull myself away and therein lies the problem. HA! No shit. There ya go. And to think I went to a shrink for 4 years to tell me what I could eventually have figured out myself.

Procrastination is my only excuse as to why I don't finish these poor abandoned thoughts. That and the realization that none of *this* changes anything and maybe, just maybe, no one cares but me.

But we'll talk more about that later ...

About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Prosemonkey published on February 1, 2006 10:59 PM.

I give up was the previous entry in this blog.

Because I am a lemming... is the next entry in this blog.

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