Focus, please

Having a hard time keeping my head attached lately. Spring fever? Adult ADD? Depression rearing its ugly head? Withdrawal from human touch?

Who knows, but I'm sick of it. Sick of always being in charge, sick of always being responsible, sick of being lied to, sick of not being able to trust anyone or anything. Sick of not having any choices in anything, just being at the whim of the decisions and actions of others all the freakin' time..

Maybe that's the problem. I'm sick of living "this" life. I feel as though I'm stuck, as though I've been relegated to purgatory while all around me, life goes on ... people are born, people die, people get married, people get divorced, people go on living and loving and I'm just ... existing.


Maybe it is Spring Fever.


Every Day Is Exactly The Same
Nine Inch Nails

I believe I can see the future
Cause I repeat the same routine
I think I used to have a purpose
But then again
That might have been a dream
I think I used to have a voice
Now I never make a sound
I just do what I've been told
I really don't want them to come around

Oh, no

Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same

I can feel their eyes are watching
In case I lose myself again
Sometimes I think I'm happy here
Sometimes, yet I still pretend
I can't remember how this got started
But I can tell you exactly how it will end

Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same

I'm writing on a little piece of paper
I'm hoping someday you might find
Well I'll hide it behind something
They won't look behind
I'm still inside here
A little bit comes bleeding through
I wish this could have been any other way
But I just don't know, I don't know what else I can do

Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same