March 2007 Archives

Nah ... just overwhelmed. I have this odd habit of losing February. It just flies by and suddenly it's March and I look up and start to come out of stasis.

Lots happening personally. A dear friend is in intensive care and I am distracted. Let's see. Other than that, here's a rundown.

Work is ... just not good.
I'm alone much of the time as lately my assistant has been stuck in the office. My student helpers keep me going but are also frustrating. I'm just doing a job right now and trying to keep from drowning in the paperwork I need to do. I've been having nightmares that I'm surrounded by kids and teachers all with impossible demands and it's getting harder and harder to help them all until I wake up, drenched in sweat and panicky. Then my alarm goes off and I go to work and it's all true.

Life is ... moving.
Looking to buy a house but getting my finances in order first is key. I've been told I can do it now but what I can afford now is NOT where I want to live now so I have to do some finagling if I want this to happen. I need to make more money. Period. No reason why someone with my education and abilities should have to struggle at $32K a year in a house that belongs to someone else. Time to take care of me and mine and stop worrying about how it will effect everyone else.

Kids are ... growing.
The girl is registered for high school in the fall and went to a real dance at her Youth Group last night. She's FREAKIN ME OUT, Man ...
The boy is doing well in school and is actually civil to me. Their sperm donor has about worn out his welcome with them and they are both *hopefully* realizing that I am not the clumsy stupid loser that he makes me out to be and maybe, just maybe, he's the loser. Hoo-frakin-ray.

Love is ... there.
Has it really been almost 3 years? Yup. Time together, though infrequent, is excellent. Time apart is excruciating. Feeling whole for only 15% of your life will do a number on you ... well, maybe not you, Internets, but it does to me. Am I wrong to want more? Prolly not ... but maybe I am. *sigh*

I am ... here.
Decided to begin Spring Cleaning this weekend. Time to toss out the old and clean the rest. I spend a lot of my time sitting and looking at the mess (the house, my body, my work, my life), wishing it would go away but it's not going to unless I make it. So here goes.

I can almost feel the blood beginning to pump again. Almost.